Ssangyong Rodius

Looks like a BMW X6 with a conservatory attachment out back. And drives about as well. Ridiculously big, but that’s no reason to get one

• Comfort

  Points for sheer massiveness – buckets of space in all of the seven seats (in Korea, you can actually order your Rodius with nine seats, which should tell you something about the size of the thing) – but let down by a cheap, nasty, cheap, nasty interior. Cheap and nasty.

  

• Performance

  Giant and slow. Even the big five-cylinder diesel takes 15 seconds to drag the Rodius to 60mph, but to be honest, any faster would be truly terrifying.

  

• Cool

  Picture all the coolest things in the world, wedged into a big room. Now take them away. Notice how that empty space is exactly the shape of a Rodius? That’s not coincidence.

  

• Quality

  The interior is as plasticky and tacky as a plastic tack, while the entire body shakes alarmingly over bad roads. The big diesel should be good for a few years, at least.

  

• Handling

  Just look at it. Now ask yourself honestly: is that monstrosity really, really going to handle like an Elise? Correct. No discernable handling of any kind.

  

• Practicality

  Fantastically practical, right up until the moment that you discover you can’t get your kids into the car because they’ve all run away through fright.

  

• Running costs

  With a massive warranty, the Rodius might actually make some sense, but Ssangyong still only offers a basic three-year package. This is bad.