20 January 2012 - 18:00
Clarkson's greatest hits
We're now three weeks into 2012. You're getting resettled into work. You resolved to lose weight this year and you went to the gym three days in a row, but have since given up. You are bored. You need Clarkson.
And Clarkson we shall give you. We've dug into our 2011 archive of Jeremy's best columns and plucked our top six. Even if you've read them before, you must read them again. Like Cher, they don't age.
Before we begin, a TopGear Top Tip: If your internet browser uses tabs, hold down Ctrl and click on each of the links below. Clever, huh?
Behold, the best of Clarkson, beginning with:
1. "Not that long ago, carmakers sold the dream. Empty roads. Pretty girls. Men with stubble. Now, it's all zero per cent finance and safety and stuff."
Clarkson on car advertising.
2. "The Stratos was one of my favourite cars. It was hard to get into, hard to see out of and made you feel like you were going sideways."
Clarkson on the new Lancia Stratos.
3. "The leopard-patterned gecko can only hope to survive if AMG changes its automatic gearboxes."
Clarkson on saving the planet.
4. "I hate myself for such consumerism, but here I am thinking about giving away my Range Rover because it might have flu."
Clarkson on consumerism.
5. "Doors are massively overrated. Yes, they keep out the weather and the noise when you are travelling at speed, but they also isolate you from the world and its beauty."
Clarkson on doors.
6. "The EU may be pointing at polar bears and holes in the ozone layer, but engineers know that new cars have to produce more power."
Clarkson rails against the horsepower race.