Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG

Merc’suberlord large sedan packs a 6.2-litre V8 and the full 378kW, with a torque figure that’ll make weak men cry. There’s also a wagon version. Which makes us laugh maniacally.

• Comfort

  Firm but fair. The E63 is less precise than something like an M5, but has better bum-soft cruising ability. There's plenty of space and the seats feel like armchairs. Even rolling burnouts deliver very little vibration into the cabin (we've, er, heard from a source) and there's precisely no wind noise.

  

• Performance

  If you deploy all the 378kW in one go, you'll get 0-100km/h in just 4.5 seconds and a headbang on the limiter at 250km/h, which is quite lovely. The motor is basically a triumph of cubic inches over mass; 6208cc of naturally aspirated V8 with the kind of mid-range overtaking urge that can put many serious sportscars into in-gear hell.

  

• Cool

  Street-race Q-car that can crush continents? Erm, yes please.

  

• Quality

  Feels like the AMG people get very serious with their micrometers. The E63 feels handbuilt (in a good way), and there's a solidity in everything that means that you'd be quite happy buying a third-hand E63.

  

• Handling

  The E63 feels like a drag racer rather than a dancer; huge power, a little soft at the back and frigging scary off the line if you get injudicious with your right foot. Saying that the Airmatic suspension can handle most stuff, even if it doesn't feel entirely connected when you push the otherwise lovely RWD chassis. If there was ever a car to delete an motorway without attracting too much unwanted attention, then this is it.

  

• Practicality

  Loads of room (it's an E-class after all) for all involved and a 540-litre boot mean that if you want big, practical speed this is the one for you. Don't forget that that if you really want to inventively murder your dogs then there's an E63 Estate. Though with a 65-litre fuel tank you'll stop lots - range is not really the E63's best bit.

  

• Running costs

  Not so cheap as chips in insurance being a V8. It'll use about 14.5L/100km and servicing can only be paid for with raw bullion.