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In 2009, Top Gear broadcast a love story. A young man called Richard travelled to Botswana and fell for a slightly rusty 43-year-old called Oliver. So strong were his feelings that - at great expense and significant difficulty - he decided to bring him to Blighty....

Some say that he's only in it for the British passport, but Oliver - the nicotine-yellow Opel Kadett - is back on British shores and in Hammond's warm bosom. He's also booked in for his second bout of reconstructive surgery...