Top Gear: bored of newspaper nonsense
Posted by Andy Wilman at 5:40PM on Saturday 05 July, 2008 28 Comments
I should be writing about this week's show, but if you'll excuse me I have to take a moment to say a few words about the stuff in the papers, which basically states Richard and James are leaving unless they get a million pounds a minute, and that Jeremy is already on four million pounds a minute and also trousers 98 percent of all the profits from Top Gear, Dr Who, Strictly Come Dancing, The Tweenies and Big Brother.
I think from all the pieces I've read, the Gold medal for talking made up bollocks goes to the Mail, the Independent gets silver, and the rest can split the bronze.
Just for the record, Richard and James's contracts are up soon - no big deal, contracts do end - and their agents are negotiating new ones.
They want an amount, the BBC wants to pay a different amount - again, no surprises there, that's how business works every minute of every day - and there'll be horse trading until a number is reached.
But let me also say Richard and James have never ever ever asked to be on equal pay to Jeremy. They are the first to admit that he came up with the new show, and that he does nothing but this show and is the engine room of it, whereas they, quite understandably, like to do other projects as well as Top Gear, and therefore the pay should reflect that.
Secondly, all this stuff about Jeremy being on so much money that the bank manager at his local branch has had to reinforce the floor - it's bollocks.
Real bollocks.
Just look at the show for God's sake - it looks expensive because every penny we can put on screen goes on screen - the best cameramen, soundmen and editors, quality directors, grading equipment, locations, stunts, editing time - that's where the money goes.
If Jeremy was taking home six billion pounds a second - it may have gone up, I'll have to check the Daily Mail - we'd be filming a Scalextric track on the living room carpet.
Don't get me wrong, they're all in telly and they get good money when you look at the country as a whole, but there's no stupid avarice and greed going on here, and the stuff in the papers comes, frankly, out of their arses.
I'm British, and I loathe talking about other peoples' salaries, but it pisses me off that people who like Top Gear will read this crap and then think they're actually watching three cynical money machines in action.
Jeremy, Richard and James are mates, they bicker, and they all know Top Gear is the best job in the world.
I 'm reminded of this when we record the show on a Wednesday, and they sit in their crappy room in our crappy Portakabin (yes the one you saw on the trails really is our office) and rehearse the script together, and you get all the same cocking about and laughter you see on the show.
Then they read the papers about them all leaving and demanding millions, and then take the piss out of each other some more - how Jeremy would buy gold electric gates with a supercharger on them, how James would acquire a fleet of dangerous pre war planes so he can kill himself differently every week, and how country boy Hammond would fill his yard with more crap cars he'll never get round to restoring.
Old bangers brings me finally and neatly onto this week's show. I think our first two from this run have been solid but not classics, but, and I hope I'm not sounding boastful here, Sunday's show is back right up there.
The Bentley power test is a thing of beauty - stunning work from the camera boys, the Director and the Editors - and then there's the Alfa challenge.
We've always said on TG that you can't be a true petrolhead until you've owned an Alfa, so this week the boys are given a grand each, sent off to buy a car of their choosing, and then the adventures unfold.
Why do I think it's one of our best?
Well, the focus is bang on - basically the love you can have for a car, especially a shit, charismatic one that provides so many mishaps and laughs, and I also think it shows the three boys at their best.
Part 2 in particular is vintage Clarkson Hammond and May.
Let's not forget that at the heart of this show lies the chemistry between the chaps, and the best script in the world can't engineer the laughter and quarrels that spew forth.
Right, I'm off to get the papers. I might find out that Joan Armatrading is taking over from Richard.
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28 Comments for "Top Gear: bored of newspaper nonsense"
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Well said. If I could specify where my TV licence money goes, it would all come straight to you guys - I, for one, am really glad you all put as much (money/thought/effort etc.) into TG as you do.
Agree with you completely, Andy. Never believe what the papers say these days. Watching all these episodes, it really is evident that the chemistry between the boys is authentic and not some rubbish made up for the show.
Who knows? Maybe tomorrow they'll claim that Jeremy's bought out half of Cornwall with his gold reserves, Richard's quit TG to become a pet food spokesman, and James has gone off to join the army in order to single-handedly wage war against the French.
Excellent. Thanks for setting the record straight.
I was hoping you'd write something about all this rubbish. It's a shame you have to spend so much time defending a very good show presented by three very good, big hearted people. Pity the daily rags can't see that. Keep up the good work and your spirits.
How wonderful and refreshing that we have you, Andy, to debunk the crap we read on a daily basis. I have to admit I was a bit worried, but now just feel stupid for ever having considered that it was true. Now, can you debunk the ridiculous rumour that Richard is doing Strictly Come Dancing this autumn? I can't really see him in a sequined jump-suit!
Thanks for this Andy. I don't think any true fan took the stuff in the press that seriously, but it's nice to know you and the team have preserved your ability to turn it all into humour.
Since TG is one of the few things on the Beeb I'll make a point of watching, and will download if I miss it, all I care about is that they keep making the show and make it as fun as ever.
Keep going, lads - you're worth every penny of what you really earn!
Hear hear.
Good to see that boys are back together... and looking forward to the next show.
I have to give credit to the fleet street crew, though. Especially how they can blame all of the world's global warming and dangerous driving on three blokes cocking about, and doing what they love.
Andy, hang in there - we (the viewers) are not going anywhere. Thank you for consistently working so hard to entertain us each week - we love it.
Quite frankly, I couldn't give a rat's arse if they WERE being paid a billion a week, it wouldn't stop me watching it - the work and dedication that clearly goes into Top Gear is worth every penny.
Top Gear would be a dream job... I'd take less then 10p if Hammond actually chooses to leave.
I still can't believe the stuff newspapers write. We all know they only write stories that will sell papers, regardless of truth.
And it beggars belief to think that the great British populace would ever think they print the truth. You can quite easily make a boring contract negotiation seem like the guys want millions and will quit. How gullible do they think we are?
For the record, I will state here and now that I'd believe the word of Andy Wilman over ANY other word printed in a newspaper, regarding the alleged pay dispute.
To all you rubbishers, just chill out and let us enjoy Top Gear, a new series of which, let's face it, only appears about twice a year.
So thank you Andy, for putting our minds at rest. Now, can we get on with the show???
So unbelievably true. I couldn't look forward to Sunday any more, and couldn't care less about the trash that's in the papers. Try not to get too heated over the issue, but thanks for coming on and posting your bit on it.
Hooray for vintage Top Gear! Show is still in its Prime!
Well said Andy. As ever the voice of reason. Where do the papers get there stories from?
I can't say I'm surprised about the 'news' being crap. Makes me glad I live in Canada.
I'm afraid I'd have to disagree with you slightly - the police car challenge should definitely make the classics list.
Nice to see you putting things straight, Me myself, I don't read newspapers really anyway so I didn't worry about it.
Bless you, Andy, for your dose of sanity to combat the fevers of the Silly Season.
What a load of bollocks from the papers. Even if they were paid 3.5 billion each a year, who cares? You are all doing an AWESOME job of making Top Gear.
If there are any money-grabbing machines in the media sector, it's the newspapers and pointless "look at what that celeb just ate" magazines.
Personally, I think everyone on Top Gear deserves every good thing that comes their way - money or otherwise. And, why should we care if a petrolhead makes stupid amounts of money while continually providing top entertainment, when moronic supermodels get even stupider (is that a word?) money for walking down a runway and providing little to no entertainment value whatsoever? Keep up the good work and ignore the press. Those who love y'all know the real scoop.
THANK YOU. Very reassuring to read from the "horse's mouth" that I was right and the papers are wrong.
Thank you Andy for this piece. Typically, you have omitted to mention that one big reason for the success of Top Gear is the brilliant editor. That you care deeply about this show is evident in every word you write. Please keep on supporting the motorists of this country and cocking a snoop at all that PC rubbish.
That's not all you have to worry about. We are demanding 10 million pounds a piece per series to continue watching Top Gear. The laughter fits caused by this programme eat an awful lot of calories, and we deserve to be compensated for all the crisps and pastries we must consume during viewing to prevent undesirable fainting spells.
Sorry about this, but if you keep up this level of straight talking, I'm going to have to declare myself an Andy Wilman Fangirl. It's so refreshing to have someone cutting through all the bollocks in the press (hmm, sounds painful, but they deserve it...). Meanwhile, you're all getting on with the important job of making great telly.
Obviously Richard and James are going to ask for more money when their contract is up for renewal - who wouldn't?. I know I expect a rise every year from my employers! Hope it does get sorted out thought 'cos it wouldn't be the same without all three of them because the relationship between them is so obviously genuine and it would be hard to replace that.
Well said, all of you. Top Gear is just about the best thing on telly and single-handedly justifies the licence fee. Jeremy, James and Richard deserve to be paid properly and their agents will rightly do the best they can for them. You clearly already know you also need (and have got) brilliant production staff and great ideas to keep the show on the road.
I think the fact that Jeremy sold his 355 to get a SL, then sold it to get the Ford GT, then that to get the Gallardo proves he doesn't earn 80% of what the BBC gets from TV licences (that goes into running the Stig).