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10 Things We Learned In 2013

  1. If you sell your testicle you can buy a Nissan 370Z

    In November, an American man called Mark Parisi announced he would donate a testicle to medical research, in exchange for £22,000, and that he would spend this money on a Nissan 370Z. Good thing cars are cheap in the US: in Blighty, Parisi would have to auction off 1.3 testicles to get himself into Nissan’s brawny V6 coupe…

    Read the full story here

  2. The Nurburgring War has become a bloodbath

    Just when we thought 2013 might see the end of the whole Green Hell lap time furore, Porsche announced its 918 hyper-hybrid had clocked a deranged 6m57s lap around Nordschliefe.

    And then Jamal Hameedi, chief engineer of Ford’s Global Performance, said, basically, that Nurburgring lap times are rubbish. Or at least unreliable as a measure of performance.

    And then McLaren released a video showing its P1 lapping the Ring in ‘under seven minutes’. But didn’t give an exact time. Which set the Porsche-vs-McLaren hybrid comment battle into all-out civil war. What’ll happen if Ferrari puts its LaFerrari around the Nordschliefe? Is the internet strong enough to cope?

  3. Jean-Claude Van Damme's splits are very popular

    In early November, Volvo released this rather excellent advert featuring JCVD’s eye-watering demonstration of the accuracy of its trucks’ ‘Dynamic Steering’ system. Just a few weeks later, it was the most-watched car ad in the history of YouTube, clocking over 60 million views. Worth the pain, Jean Claude?

    Watch the advert here

  4. Old fighter jets painted in old F1 liveries are totes amazeballs

    Photoshop whizz Bill Clave wraps old warplanes in old F1 paintjobs, induces a collective crisis in the Top Gear office. Even better than new-F1-cars-wrapped-in-old-F1 liveries? Tough one…

  5. Red Bull are very fast at doing pitstops

    Not content with utterly humiliating the rest of the grid in both the drivers and constructors championships, Red Bull became the first F1 team to record a sub-two-second pitstop, on Mark Webber’s car at the Austin Grand Prix in November.

    Of course, pitstops have become quicker since the ban on fuelling in 2010, but under two seconds to change four tyres and give Webber his detailed ‘don’t you dare overtake Seb’ instructions? Impressive stuff.

  6. Jaguar's jaguar eats Merc's magic chicken for breakfast

    Mercedes releases advert in which man jiggles chicken to demonstrate how the S-Class’s ‘Magic Body Control’ works. Jaguar releases advert in which big cat devours Merc’s chicken. Welcome to the sophisticated world of automotive advertising.

    Watch the adverts here

  7. Mark Webber is a ridiculously nice bloke and will make you faster around the TG track

    The man Twitter calls ‘Aussie Grit’ headed back to our fabled test track this summer to see if he could clock a improvement on his 2005 lap time in the mighty Suzuki Liana. He could. And Porsche’s 2014 Le Mans driver even found time to give us a few driving tips. And insult the Stig. Never a good idea.

    Behind the scenes with Mark Webber

  8. Peter Griffin does not know what understeer is

    In an exclusive GT interview, the Family Guy star talked Lamborghinis, driving at 88mph and using a driving licence to slice cheese. No, we’re not entirely sure what’s going on, either.

    Peter Griffin talks to TG

  9. Seb Loeb has genitals of carbotanium

    Yeah, we know you’ve read everything there is to read about Monsieur Loeb’s record-obliterating Pikes Peak run in the certifiable Peugeot 208 T16. But, just once more, you need to appreciate the magnificence of the greatest motorsport achievement of 2013 - arguably the millennium so far.

    Stop what you’re doing for the next nine minutes and revel in this video of Seb’s assault on 12.42 miles and 156 corners of insanity. Can his time possibly be broken in 2014? Or… ever?

  10. Not to show off or anything, but our 360-degree interactive lap of the TG track is probably the best thing in the history of the internet

    Join His Stigness for a flat-out lap of our famed Power Laps circuit in the lairy SLS Black. Use your mouse to spin around and admire his skills from every angle.

    We have no idea how it works. Probably witchcraft. But, having conducted some pretty extensive research, we’re almost certain it’s the greatest thing on the entire internet. Apart, possibly, from You Shall Not Pass, Dog.

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