If Eskimos really do have 50 words for snow, they probably have one to describe the stuff in which our Ferrari is currently stuck. Somewhere between a slush puppy and mashed potato, it was never going to support nearly two tonnes of Italian supercar. Even if that supercar has 4WD and groovy winter tyres. A harder crust would have helped. But last night’s frost wasn’t very frosty, and the piste is melting. And now we’re up to our wheelnuts in white mush with a gathering audience and no means of escape.
This was supposed to be a story about driving up a ski slope. Because while some Ferraris are built for showing off, the FF has a more useful job. It has four seats and a decent boot. Its 651bhp is split between all four wheels. Add a set of roof bars - check out our blow-up rack - and it will even carry a set of skis. This means it’s ideal for ferrying people up a mountain during the busiest month of the Scottish ski season (yes, it has one). Beats waiting for the chair lift, eh?
At least, that was the idea. But it doesn’t matter what traction trickery you have - if the surface is soft and the snow deep, you need tank tracks, not tyres. Even the Land Rover sent to tow us out has sunk. So we borrow some men - men who’ve tossed their fair share of cabers - to push us out. After much slipping and several heaves, the FF is back on firmish ground. It might be a fancy supercar, but it’s a rubbish sledge.
Pictures: Justin Leighton
This feature first appeared in Top Gear magazine