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That’s Mr President Stig to you, sir

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Looks like Top Gear’s mystery test driver has been unmasked again, and it turns out the man in the white suit is not immortal or superhuman, but is in fact President Barack Obama.

For years now literally nobody who watches the hit TV show has wanted to know the identity of its secret wheelman, but the cat is out of the bag after a White House cleaner found Obama stuffing the famous white suit into a desk drawer at the Oval office. Possibly.

When grilled further by the cleaner, Obama apparently broke down and confessed that it was he who’d piloted monster £200,000 plus, 200mph-plus hypercars such as the Bugatti Veyron and the Ferrari Enzo round the Top Gear track. Or so The Mole hears.

He apparently added that when the show was off air he’d decided to use the spare time to run for President in the United States of America: “I didn’t expect to win, it was just something to do until the Autumn series,” Obama told the gobsmacked cleaner, probably.

He also revealed that he now feared losing his job as the man in the white suit. “I expect being President of the United States of America is pretty full on, but I’d hate to miss the next series because we’ll probably be putting that new Ferrari round the track,” someone reckons he said once.

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