Features

I didn't realise it until a week or two after I'd driven the Veyron, but Bugatti didn't actually let me have the Top Speed Key. That key comes in a beautifully crafted box, and I expect any owner is just going to keep it in their trophy cabinet.

I got to about 190mph with no trouble at all, and it would have gone to 235 even without that key. But if you're really going for broke in a Veyron, you have to stop the car, then insert the special second key, and then floor it. This lowers the suspension, closes off some air intakes and flattens the rear spoiler.

So, in exchange for that extra speed, you lose out on downforce and stability. So, quite frankly, even if they had given me the chance, I would have left Pandora's box firmly closed.

That second key in its gilded cage is of no practical use. Trying to hit Vmax in a Veyron is a fruitless pursuit. There's nowhere to do it. I mean, nowhere that isn't a private, closed motor-industry test track.

Volkswagen has one, but even if you'd just laid out the thick end of a million on their car it's very unlikely they'd let you in.

Ignore 253mph. Let's do real-road speeds. Then add a bit more, so they're unreal-world. This car is the absolute king of the road. I've never driven anything so reassuring when you're cracking on - nor with such bowel-rumblingly exciting acceleration. Because nothing exists.

But it's not just some crazy renegade motorway bullet train. It actually turns corners too. I drove it up into the Alps and, honestly, it really handles.

During the car's development it leaked out from an engineer that it was 'a 1,000 horsepower Audi TT', but it's so much better than that.

It's sharpish and safe-feeling and actually friendly ('How can that evil force be friendly?' you ask - trust me, it can) and, if the road is open enough, you can push a bit and actually feel those gigantic tyres working.