
James is getting withdrawal symptoms at the mere prospect of an in-car smoking ban
Gentlemen, you may not be permitted to smoke for much longer. Never mind that you won't be allowed to fire up one of those perfectly harmless Marlboros in a pub, because you might offend someone eating a burger made out of a part of a cow the cow itself never saw.
Never mind that the Italians have already banned it from anywhere that qualities as indoors, even though a few years ago it seemed perfectly acceptable to smoke in the Duomo in Florence.
And never mind, either, that from now on you'll only be able to enjoy that Condor moment if you buy your own battleship and duffel coat and do it on the bridge, Jack Hawkins style. No, it's the car we have to worry about.
The car has always been a great place for a crafty toke. It's yours, it's private, there's no bar and no public licence. No one's coat is going to end up 'smelling all smoky' and the bloke in the next car is hardly going to complain that it keeps blowing in his direction. You should be safe.
'The car has always been a great place for a toke. It's yours, it's private, there's no bar and no public licence'
But I doubt it. It's already illegal to use your mobile phone in the car, and not so long ago someone was nicked for eating an apple at the wheel. It's only a matter of time before driving one-handed in general is outlawed.
Car manufacturers have already started working in anticipation of this dreadful day. Gears can be changed with little buttons or paddles mounted on the steering wheel.
Radio controls can be found there, too, with buttons to alter the aircon. If it's a BMW, there will even be some lucky dip buttons that could do something you didn't want to do, but at least they enable you to do it whilst keeping both hands firmly on the wheel.
However, all of these developments count for nowt the instant you spark one up, because smoking requires at least one hand and, for a brief moment, both of them.
Inevitably, then, there are already dark mutterings from the sort of people who prefix everything with 'as a parent', that smoking in cars should be banned.
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