Features

"We are both ex-military (airborne divisions). We have discipline, we have the need to take the bad guys off the street," says Fred simply. "But it's not just knocking down doors. They call me 'The Negotiator' because I try and talk things through."

But does that matter when there might be a gun poised the other side of the door you're about to break down? "Nah," says Robert, "that's part of the buzz for me - that's where the adrenalin is, why we keep doing this."

Indeed, both brothers seem wedded to a fatalistic attitude that gets them through the day: "If it ain't your time, it ain't your time," says Robert. "That's the way it has to go down, because you can prepare all you want, but you never really know what's going to happen."

As the rest of the team gather around our big, red, testosterone-substitute super-Jeep, we are introduced to the other members of this small group of pro-hunters.

As well as Robert and Fred we meet Don 'The Don' Wadsworth, a stocky, easy-going guy with a big smile and wraparound shades. He's driving a brown ex-police cruiser with an assault shotgun in the back and packing a Glock as his sidearm.

Bennett 'Big Ben' Hoppes is next, a bear of a man whose smile is out of kilter because he hasn't got many teeth. Put it this way, I'm intimidated and I haven't done anything wrong.

The SRT-8 is what we assumed would be the perfect vehicle for this kind of business. After all, if you need to carry four heavily armed and partially bulletproofed men at up to 170mph, you're going to need a bit of space and five doors.

The sub-five-second 0-60mph time should also mean you don't get stuffed when it comes to a chase, either, although the cherry red paintwork and chrome 20-inch wheels might be a little, how might you put it... conspicuous?

"Don't worry 'bout that," drawls Fred through his surprisingly ready smile.

"Anybody we after'll jus' think we one of they boys, some other dope boy coming round for a visit. Now if we roll up in that ol' police car that Don be drivin'? Then everybody gonna scatter. It jus' depends what kind of thing you want to do when you roll up." Yes, quite.

It seems there's more to it than just kicking down doors and jumping up and down on the suspect's head. For a start, after reviewing today's files, we convoy over to a trailer park to apprehend a certain Anthony Worl, wanted for several outstanding charges.

Worryingly, he looks a little like me. Don happily points this out over the radio and suggests that if we don't get our man then I'll do. Barry laughs. I squirm. They're just kidding, though...

I'm almost sure they're kidding.