Features

See gallery of 100 Sexiest Cars.

I would gargle with wasps before I would be a teenager again. The tinted Clearasil, the padded bras, the sulking, stealing, Smiths and sticky fumblings.

The only remotely funny thing about being a teenager was teenage boys. So uncool, with their bad skin and bad hair. But it was in a teenage boy's bedroom that I had my first 'awakening'. Where, among the records, dirty plates and soggy tissues, I saw something so sensational, so outrageous, it took my breath away.

A picture of an orange Lamborghini Countach. It was an LP400, the first, and for many purists, the favourite, with classic lines and the Miura's 4.0 V12 engine.

Styled by Marcello Gandini of Bertone design studio - a young and relatively inexperienced designer, who was also responsible for the stunning Miura (58) - it was a fabulous flight of fancy.

An exotic and aggressive wedge with gad-fly doors, it later sprouted all manner of bulges and vents - the LP500 with the 375bhp, five-litre V12, flared guards and funky alloys is my favourite.

It really rocked my world. I don't remember what I said, but I remember how I felt. This forbidden fruit, the Lamborghini Countach, stirred something deep inside me. Oh, OK, it gave me a funny feeling in my pants.

It was definitely my first experience of 'sexy'. And I wasn't alone - the Countach must have been the most popular schoolboy poster ever. It captured the imagination and fired the loins of a generation. It is truly iconic.

So really, I don't need to deconstruct why the Countach is the sexiest car in my world - even now, 30-odd years later it is still incredibly provocative. I would defy even a Trappist monk to look at the Countach and not get excited.

It is not a car for the faint-hearted. You don't even have to drive it to know it's outrageously fast and uncompromising. Climb behind the wheel and it feels like it could chew you up and spit you out again - how hot is that? To paraphrase Ginsberg, it's like licking honey from a thorn.

Yes, I like it rough around the edges - raw, brutal and edgy - which is why I run a Mitsubishi Lancer Evo (59). It ain't as fine to look at as the Countach, but it still blows my mind and is so much fun to drive.

One day I will own a Lamborghini Countach, the sexiest car in my world. It's just unfortunate I'll probably be menopausal by the time I can afford one.