I know that there are enough scare stories coming out of North Korea and southern Afghanistan right now to frighten us all to death. And I don't want to pour petrol on the flames, but has anyone had a look at what's going on in Germany?

Yes, I know. In a world of easy global travel, Internet access, the United Nations and rolling 24-hour news programmes, it's inconceivable that a western power could get uppity without any of its neighbours noticing.

But then it was inconceivable in 1918 that just 20 years later, Germany would be ready to take on the world again. And let's not forget, the Fatherland has been as good as gold now for 61 years. That's the longest period of peace in their history. Statistically, they are well overdue for a bit of fisticuffs.

And with the world looking under rocks for Korean nukes and Saudi terrorists, now would be as good a time as any for Germany to re-arm and try for Moscow once more.

Of course, you may say that they are reducing the number of Eurofighters they initially ordered, and that's true. You may also note that they have no nuclear weapons, a smaller navy than us and a constitution which actively prevents them from going abroad in a tank.

What's more, if you go to Germany, you find them in bars, singing along to peculiar oompah music, and slapping one another on the back. All appears to be fine. But is it? I only ask because DaimlerChrysler appears to be behaving very strangely at the moment.

Not that long ago, the only four-wheel-drive car they made was the G-Wagen, a rough and tumble sort of Bosch Land Rover for the German army. And they're still making it, even though they now also do the ML-Class, the R-Class and the GL-Class as well. And I haven't even counted in this lot all the Jeeps and wotnot made under the Chrysler banner.

Why do they need to make all these different types of off-road car? Especially now as the global warming debate, er, heats up. Where can they be going with them? I'll tell you what. If I were Polish, I'd be giving up my plumbing job in Wakefield, going home, and putting some cans of baked beans in the cellar.

Of course, you might argue that this is nonsense, and that DaimlerChrysler needs all these different models because the world is very demanding. We're no longer happy with a cup of instant. We want a skinny latte with extra water and a dash of espresso. Hmmm.