Any perceived arrogance from the motor industry and it could have a dramatic effect on government policy. Already we're seeing celebrities queuing up to appear green. Nearly every Hollywood actor claims to have a Prius and here, things are equally bleak.

Davina Whatsername from Big Brother says while she wants a Range Rover, she feels guilty about the damage she might do to the sky. And the gorgeous Fiona Bruce is thinking of selling her XC90.

People are starting to fall for the spin. That's why Land Rover is planning on making the next Range Rover weigh half what the current model does. It's why Toyota is making hybrids. It's why BP won't shut up about trees. So why is Merc introducing the GL, which is so wasteful and stupid it annoys even me?

I don't mind if you want to buy a 4x4, I really don't. I think you're a bit of a loony if you have one in central London, but would I stop you? No. Because it's no skin off my nose, and even if it is true that you're making the world hotter, good frankly. I like it when it's warm. This summer was lovely and if the world's petrolheads and school run mums helped create that, I think we should pat ourselves on the back.

That said, however, I damn nearly got out and shot myself the other day as I tried to reverse the GL into a parking space. And as I inched forwards and back in a blizzard of beeps from the infernal parking sensors, I was holding up half of the world.

And when I finally decided it really wouldn't fit, I had to try and get it out again. By the time I'd done that, I was holding up the other half of the world too. Sure, that night, the GL rode through a flood that its big V8 engine had apparently caused, and it was a smooth and quiet companion on the rush-hour drive to Oxfordshire.

But I'm sorry, it serves no purpose and I give fair warning now: if ever I find myself sitting next to someone at a dinner party who has one, I shall stab him in the eye with my fork.

In the meantime, I would urge MI6 to have just a quick look under the Bundestag. It might be nothing but when it comes to Jerry, you can't be too careful...

Other Jeremy Clarkson Articles
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Other Car Reviews
Read Mercedes GL-Class & M-Class Car Review
Mercedes GL-Class/M-Class road tests
Mercedes-Benz GL320 CDI - October 30, 2006
Mercedes-Benz GL420 CDI - October 10, 2006