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After running at 25mpg and lower during the day, we suspect the torquey 2.2-litre 4cyl turbo diesel (available with a six-speed manual now and as a six-speed auto from Spring next year) will be a better match for this chassis. It has 160bhp and a useful 295lb ft of torque at 2,000rpm. Prices are up across the board, but trust me, the car is worth it.

We start our fording adventure in Garstang in Lancashire, where we meet our advisor for the day, Mike Chambers, a senior off-roading instructor at Land Rover. If you could take common sense and give it human form, it would be Mike.

That's not to say he's dull or humourless - quite the opposite - but he's exactly the sort of man we need on this gig to keep the idiocy of yours truly in check. Mike has done lots of stuff overseas to do with survival, training and teaching people to stay alive in harsh places - and various things to do with firearms too. I didn't probe too much into his past.

His word is final - that's all. Mike is armed with two significant weapons today: a fully decked-out Land Rover Defender 110... and a stick. The stick has a piece of red tape wrapped around it, exactly 50cm up, indicating the maximum recommended wading depth of the new Freelander.

We don't cross the Garstang ford. Heavy rain has been pelting down across England for three days now and the River Wyre is fast-flowing enough to furrow Mike's brow.

"It's not the depth I'm worried so much about, it's the flow," he says, gazing at the eastern side of Garstang ford, where a tree trunk disappears into what looks like a deep underwater hollow, the water turning a dark shade of brown and picking up speed in the trough.

"The real danger here is flotation. Modern cars are so well sealed, they tend to float quite well. If it gets picked up by that water and you lose drive, we'll be waving you bye-bye."

We reverse the Freelander as far over as we can for some pics, then drive away. But I drive away gazing over my shoulder at that far river bank, wondering whether it really was impossible. Good job Mike's here.

The next ford is at Tissington in Derbyshire, a fast, shallow job that's ideal for gigantic splashes. Normal cars drive through slow, kids in the back seats peering forward and urging dad to go faster. I drive through Tissington ford at high speed only a few feet from photographer Bushell - at his behest.

Even through closed windows I hear the 'shap' of water hitting Bushell's back as he reels away to protect his camera. That 'shap' sound went straight into the top two sounds I've ever heard. Right up there with a Spitfire flypast.