Features

The Shell engineer carefully carries the tiny vial of fuel to his laptop, marks down a couple of figures and taps a few keys. He eyes me, seriously, beadily. He walks over to his whiteboard and scribbles down a number.

753mpg.

My joy is unrestrained. I now know how Hillary felt on conquering Everest. Better, probably - I didn't even need a Sherpa to help me. I am the most economical driver ever to have piloted Shell's eco racer. I am statistically twice as good as Michael Schumacher.

No, really, I am. Schumi drove the Shell eco-car a couple of years back and managed 300-odd mpg. OK, so he was on a twisty circuit - my lap was on the big banked bowl at Rockingham - and the car has had a few eco-tweaks since then, but these are mere technicalities. I am twice as good as Schumacher.

Celebrations are restrained, though. Partially through modesty, obviously, but mainly because I'm still trapped in the car. 'Car' is a bit of an overstatement, really - the vehicle more closely resembles a streamlined motorised coffin.

I'm lying flat on my back, my neck cricked at an acute angle with the primitive joystick/steering column between my legs threatening to rapidly curtail my reproductive future.

But no pain without gain, as they say, and in truth the Shell effort is one of the more comfortable cars in the Eco-Marathon. It's an extraordinary parade: a competition to find the most economical vehicle which actively encourages bizarre, futuristic contraptions of all shapes and sizes.

Actually, that's a lie - the eco racers come in one size: extra small. Though regulations dictate that all drivers must be over 11 years old, any extra weight on board has a massive impact on economy, so all the drivers are very, very tiny. It's faintly creepy watching hoards of racing-suited minikins fold themselves ceremonially into their miniature pods, like Lilliputian hari-kari.

But you can't argue with the economy. My mammoth 753mpg - and I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but that's twice as good as Schumi - pales in comparison alongside some of the figures being posted. Even the school teams (cars mainly constructed from sticky-back plastic, kitchen roll tubes and - bizarrely - stepladders) are pushing 2,000mpg, while the overall winner - French team Microjoule - managed a record-breaking 10,516mpg on the 10-mile run.

Ten thousand miles to the gallon. Just consider that number for a second. If you could take Microjoule on the open road, it'd cost you 30p to drive from Lands End to John O'Groats, while your yearly fuel bill would be just under a fiver.