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Worth the weight?
The current obsession with carbon fibre is reaching absurd proportions, says James
When you sneeze, particles of snot can exit your nose at up to 50mph. That's the official and scientific belief, anyway. Sadly, because this is a good pub fact, the true velocity of nasal egress has been exaggerated over time, and now people will happily tell you that a bogey can reach mach 3.4.
Some years ago, somebody, somewhere (but almost certainly on Radio 4) pointed out that it was essential to drink water every day. He or she was probably a doctor or dietician, an authority of some sort, and was undoubtedly right.
Whoever it was also suggested a quantity for daily consumption, and I suspect it was something like 'two glasses' or 'half a litre'. I can't remember drinking more than that throughout my whole childhood, and I'm still alive and not drying up around the edges.
Sadly, though, this bit of wisdom made it to the pub somewhere and thus turned into folklore, with the result that it's been embellished. In the retelling, by the sort of people who love to say, 'Your mouth is actually the dirtiest part of your body', the recommended daily intake has grown, until you'd now be forgiven for thinking that you'll die unless you drink a gallon of water every hour.
'I'm talking about carbon fibre as an adornment, which you'll find in your car and other inappropriate places'
The cult of water drives me up the wall. On TV shoots, people now come up to me after I've completed maybe three minutes of talking to a camera, and say, 'Do you need a water?' I've never needed a water. TE Lawrence went across the Sinai peninsula on half a canteen of the stuff, so why would I need some after talking briefly?
On a train last week, the man in the buffet car announced over the tannoy that he was selling tea, coffee, a range of sandwiches and 'a selection of waters'. There has never been a selection of waters, only water. And no one actually needs any at all.
Which doesn't really bring me to carbon fibre, but sort of does in a way, because it, too, is being foisted upon us when we don't really need it. Yes, yes, yes, yes I know, I know, I know: it makes sense for racing-car tubs, aeroplane wings, the shafts of golf clubs and fishing rods.
But I'm talking here about carbon fibre as an adornment, which you will find in your car and other inappropriate places. I'm driven to this by the discovery that the carbon-fibre roof of the new BMW M3 is standard and not painted, so everyone can see it. Why?
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