And it's the same with everyone. You hanker after a Ford Mustang or a Corvette, not because of the noise or the power, and certainly not because the interior is so tasteful and well-appointed. No.

It's because of the way they look. It's why you want a supercar. It's why you never wanted a Pontiac Aztec or a Bristol. It's why I have the Lambo now and not a 430. Because, and this isn't a matter of opinion, it is much, much prettier.

What made the Vauxhall Nova such a hit among the nation's youth? Because it was such fun to drive? Because it was so well-made? Because it was cheap to run and cheap to insure? Nope. It's because it had flared wheelarches.

And it's exactly the same story with that all-in-one crumple zone known as the Citroen AX. It won the hearts of every lout and yobbo in the country because, despite the Algerian carrier bag build-quality, it looked great.

I could go on giving you examples from now until the end of time. But I think the case is proven beyond reasonable doubt. Looks matter, whether you're a person, a table, a dog, the crockery in a restaurant or a gun. And they really, really matter when it comes to cars.

Which brings me back to the Subaru and a big question. Why aren't all cars good-looking?

Did the boss of Subaru look at the clay model of the Impreza and say: "Yes, I especially like the droopy arse and the way it doesn't in any way match the front. Oh and I see you've put a life-size model of the Sydney Opera House on the bonnet. Well done."

No, he didn't. He must have known it was even more ugly than David Abrahams, and yet he gave it the green light. And now millions of Subaru fans will have to buy something else instead.

This brings us to the long-wheelbase Mitsubishi Shogun. What's that all about? Who thought that rear-window arrangement would work? And the BMW 1-Series, and the Chevrolet Tacuma, and the Chrysler PT Cruiser, and its sister, the Crossfire Crapping Dog.

And the Fiat Doblo, and the Citroen Picasso, and the Morgan Aeromax, and the Mitsubishi i, and the Peugeot 307, and the Toyota Avensis and its ridiculous mutant cousin, the Prius.