There now, that wasn't so bad was it?

Looking at it now, as an adult - well, almost - I can see how it might seem an odd starting-point for a customised car, a Land Rover. A bit like training a camel to do parlour tricks. But I love my Land Rover, and if I am going to spend years and a small fortune customising a car, I may as well do it to one that I like to start with.

Not only that, but a Land Rover is actually the perfect project car. It has plenty of little faults to address when going about the business of trying to improve on the standard car. And that's good. You don't see many customised Rolls-Royce Phantoms.

That's because they are perfect to start with, there's nothing to improve. Boring. But with a Land Rover, well the world is your oyster; you can pick from a whole smorgasbord of little things to improve upon.

They are, in factory original condition, noisy, they leak water in from the top and oil out from underneath, you can never demist the windows in winter, they handle like scaffolding towers, and use more fuel than Beijing.

And so, by those measures I have made mine, well, worse actually. The 4.5-litre, hand-built V8 has taken the thirst to a new level. It is now the king of the petrol vampires. I can't find a petrol station that can pump it fast enough; it's probably outside your house right now, sticking its fangs into your car and sucking out all its petrol.

And, thanks to the sidepipes exiting straight from the headers, it is a little bit louder than it was as standard. For the money I have spent on it, I could have bought a brand new Range Rover. It costs more to run than an Enzo.

And so to the question, 'Does it work?' Well, in some ways, yes. Off-road, the immense torque of that V8 means it clambers up and over everything, the dislocating suspension allowing the wheels to drop and stay in contact with the ground at impossible angles.

Charging around the tracks and fields of the Eastnor Castle proving ground where the original Land Rovers were developed 60 years ago and where the Land Rover Experience team still take awe-struck crowds of lucky punters every year, the thing really can go pretty much anywhere.

But that isn't really the answer to the question. Because to work, as a customised car, it has to achieve the goal I set for it. And yes, it did achieve that goal. I probably could explain how it feels, growling around in it, feeling it wrench and struggle with the tricky bits and calmly wander across the rest without breaking sweat.

I probably could, but I'm not sure I want to. Some things we just enjoy and don't feel the need to explain.You might enjoy it too. Or maybe you wouldn't. But either way, it won't stop me setting out in my Land Rover with a grin on my face.

So has it worked? Yes, yes it has. And one day, I would love to take Sir Jimmy Savile out in it and scare the jewellery off him.