I don't believe I've mentioned this before, and largely because I haven't dared, but some months back I bought myself an old Porsche 911.

This sort of thing can easily happen in your 40s. Some people buy a time-share in a Spanish villa, or build a small extension onto the kitchen, or take up clay pigeon shooting or salsa dancing in an attempt to keep the impression of cloying, middle-aged ennui at bay. But I, like so many others, have bought an old 911, a car I should have owned in my 20s and might have done if I'd knuckled down and got on with something useful.

Furthermore, by any 911 bore's standards I've bought the wrong one entirely.It's a 1984 3.2 Carrera in Guards Red, the colour normally reserved for those ketchup dispensers in the shape of a tomato.

It has the tea-tray on the back, the rubber air dam under the front, the sports suspension pack, the Fuchs alloy wheels and the dash-mounted, spring-loaded magazines for cassette tapes. The seats are upholstered in pinstripe fabric and what was formerly the brightwork around the windows and door handles is finished in satin black. The whole thing is a bit merchant banker, really.

In fact, it might have been specified by the Tory government of the time as a wheeled paean to monetarism, and was probably originally driven by someone whose suit was made by the same people who did the seats and who responded to a job advert for someone 'aggressive' on a salary of £attractive. It's the iconic chariot of Thatcher's children and in its time would have inspired peasants to build impromptu gallows at the roadside.

On the plus side, it's in absolutely perfect nick, has done a certifiable 50,000 miles and is completely free of defects or damage. It¹s had three previous owners and the last two were even more anal than me. Yet it cost just £15,000.

Now earlier 911s, the 2.4 and 2.7 models, can cost twice that, even though they're not actually as good and usually fall apart, because they weren't rustproofed. The later 964 can give engine problems at high mileage, and the 993 is still considered modern and is quite expensive. But my 911, simply because it's slightly embarrassing, was a bargain.