Features

I realise that this is going to make me sound like a bit of a mardy pants, but there's no denying it any longer, so here goes.

I know working on Top Gear is an enormous privilege. Since you're reading this car magazine, you would probably be interested in driving the Bugatti Veyron around VW's closed test circuit at Wolfsburg. I have, and, frankly, it's great.

As was the Maserati Quattroporte round the old Targa Florio route in Sicily. That was brilliant, and I'm grateful to have done it. When I was given a Fezza F430 Spider to take all around Europe, I was acutely aware that it was just one of a number of great driving experiences that wouldn't have come my way if I'd stuck to my original career aspirations in estate agency and personal finance.

I do genuinely love cars, and over the last few years have been allowed in some that, if things had worked out differently, would only ever have played a part in my life as bedroom posters, including, yes,the Countach. And Brezhnev's Zil. Only yesterday a man rang me up to ask when I'd like to take the new two-door Rolls-Royce for a spin. No complaints, really.

But there is a 'but', and here it comes.

But the thing I like most of all about making Top Gear is when we're all given a paltry car-buying budget and sent off to source an old snotter, and then - you must know how this goes by now - meet up at the test track for a number of different challenges.

The older I get, and the longer Top Gear goes on, the more I enjoy driving rubbish. The XK Jaguar is a wonderful thing, but an Audi for £65 makes me skip around like an imbecile. Why?

At first I thought it was a simple matter of feeling a bit clever. Assuming you've managed to save up the required £70,000, buying a new 911 is easy. You just go to the Porsche shop, choose the colour, and Buzi's your uncle. It's no harder than buying trousers. But spending less than a grand on an old Cadillac that will take you across America equally well takes skill, knowledge and experience.

There's also the rather enjoyable sensation of having beaten the system. A lot of people imagine that an old car somehow won't make it from Manchester to London, as if these things have sensibilities and age like people. But they don't.