Picture the scene: you're relaxing on a balmy island beach in the Med, perhaps sipping a metrosexual cocktail while watching your illicit holiday squeeze frolic in the shallows.

Suddenly, your extramarital bliss is shattered by a 57-metre-long, armour-clad hovercraft, barrelling over the water at 70mph, packed to the brim with missile systems, machine-guns and amorous sailors.

You start to run, but there's no escape. The hovercraft simply flies over land, and small buildings too, dispatching land mines and commandos as it goes. You probably should have tipped that taverna owner.

This is the Almaz Zubr, the world's biggest military hovercraft, now in the hands of the Greek military. Weighing in at 500 tons and powered by five 10,000bhp gas turbines, it'll carry 500 heavily armed Hellenics and is invisible to radar. Anyone for a Caribbean holiday this year instead?