What happens when you subject an NCAP five-star car to an offset collision with an NCAP four-star car? The five-star car comes out on top, right?

Not if the five-star car is a Fiat 500 and the four-star car is Audi's massive Q7. The test - conducted by ADAC, Germany's largest automobile club - shows the little Cinq getting a proper mullering at the hands of the giant Audi.

Watch the crash test on YouTube

Not nice, eh? Crash tests always look bad, admittedly, and we're not suggesting for a second that the 500 underperformed at all - a five-star rating is simply brilliant for a small car.

Instead, the crash test highlights that a big car will almost always fare better in any David-versus Goliath impact.

So what's the solution? Do we enter a Mutually Assured Destruction race where we all end up driving Challenger tanks? Or ban anything bigger than a 500 from Britain's roads?

We demand a parliamentary debate.