In line with the fact that I'm about to take to the wheel of this swanky new BMW 323Ci, a complete change of personal image is called for. Gone is my usual scruffy three-day-old facial bumfluff, followed up by a knackered pair of sneakers and a once-white T-shirt promoting some dodgy new romantic band I last listened to 10 years ago. Instead, on goes the Paul Smith suit, the Gucci cuff-links and the Patrick Cox loafers. Proof, as with this BMW, that the yuppie really didn't snuff it at the end of the '80s.

The thing is, the previous yob-in-posh-togs favourite, the old-shape BMW 3-Series coupe, was an undeniably fantastic car. In 323i guise it was nimble as a four-stone Romanian gymnast, whilst offering plenty of go - if thrashed hard enough - and remaining as comfortable and refined as anyone could have possibly hoped for. The car's only problem was its (also) undeniably flash-git image.

To address the problem, BMW has gone right ahead and, well, not done much really. Where we had a crisp and clean, if dated, shape before, now we have pretty much the same thing with added round edges and the odd fiddly design detail thrown in. Where, with the TT, Audi has gone on a design frenzy with its own bizarre yet utterly gorgeous coupe effort, BMW has stuck with the two-door saloon theme. With one in four coupes sold in Britain being 3-Series Beemers, restrained flash obviously sells. After a bout of talking uncomfortably loudly into my thumb-sized mobile phone/personal organiser, it's time to unleash 'the ultimate driving machine'. Only they don't call them that any more.

No, the 323Ci might be very pleasant in many ways, yes, but it's not genuinely exciting like its predecessor. Instead, it has become more of comfortable cruiser. The added torque lent by the fresh addition of Double-VANOS variable-valve timing means that the 2.5-litre straight-six engine (not a 2.3-litre as you might expect) offers performance not far off the £3,045 dearer 328Ci's. Yet the engine is so muted you barely know it is turned on, while the ride has a softer edge to it than the previous car's. Even so, with a 15mm-lower stance and stiffer dampers than the equivalent 3-Series saloon, there is some noticeable bumpiness over broken surfaces.

Helped by a host of driver aids including traction control and stability control, I can believe it when BMW say that this new car is quicker flat out over twisty roads. Yet those vital driving sensations have been annoyingly numbed. At less than full-on speeds this car feels heavier than it should, the steering being less alive and the gearbox and clutch difficult to combine for jerk-free changes.

Even my flimsy attempt at an image change can't disguise my recently-sprouted love handles. And, disappointingly, there's no hiding this 323Ci's, either

Peter Grunert

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