Those of you familiar with the works of Dante will recall that his Inferno is by far the most entertaining of the three books which go to make up The Divine Comedy. Paradise may be, well... nice, but gazing upon the face of the beatific Beatrice in the rose bowl of heaven, isn't half as exciting as watching a three-headed Satan munching on Judas Iscariot for eternity.

You fans of 14th century Florentine poetry will therefore empathise with my current dilemma. You see, while I was looking after the hellish Fiat Ulysse I had plenty to write about, as there was always something falling off. Conversely, the Honda Accord Tourer is heaven; it's perfect; it's lovely and fluffy and so it's kinda... well, bland! I mean, everything works! It's quite quick and sexy for an estate, being low slung and slinky with a very appealing black leather and cloth interior. My only criticism would be that the metal gearknob got very cold in the recent freeze-up. But it's hardly the sort of thing to condemn Honda to burn in hell for, is it?

Simon Rees

Arrived: June 2003

Price: £20,513

Mileage: 14,973

Test mpg: 24.7

Recent costs: None

Recent problems: None

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