Bulls are meant to plough

Posted by Sriram Narayanan at 09:20 am on Tuesday April 24, 2012


Mother Teresa.

Apparently, she is a kind woman who has done a lot of good to a lot of people. Apparently, there have also been some murmurs about some forced conversions attributed to her. But for all her good and all her controversies, there’s an entire generation, or two, of beauty queens who owe a lot to her. It’s another matter that after promising to work for world peace and feeding hungry children, the entire lot only end up gyrating about in Hindi movies. But calling Mother Teresa their role model, their inspiration, their god, seemed a sure shot way of winning the crown.

And for car companies, a good SUV is their Mother Teresa moment. It’s a sure shot money-making proposition. It’s like throwing a dart at a board without having to bother about the bull’s eye. Speaking about bulls, the company having their Mother Teresa moment right now is Lamborghini with the Urus concept. If thoughts like ‘how could they’, ‘that’s not their heritage’, ‘die Lambo, die’ are running in your head… seriously, jump off a height. Heritage means nothing if are just going to sit with it on your lap.

In an ideal world there should have been no SUVs in the first place. There should have only been utility vehicles whose job would be to fight wars, study wildlife, and rescue stranded people. And if the road ends, get out of your car and walk. But then, this has never been an ideal world. So SUVs are used to go to office, drop kids to school or if you are India, ferry politicians and other dimwits.

As much as I hate them, I can’t deny the, umm, Utility of such Sporty Vehicles. You sit high, you can seat five or even seven, and you don’t have to bother about scraping your underbody. And for something like Lamborghini, an SUV helps them make even more faster cars.

More so, the world needs SUVs because countries like India still exist. Calling our roads pathetic is an insult to the word pathetic. So apart from a few hardcore petrol-head, insanely rich loonies, nobody is going to book themselves an Aventador. Driving them here is like stepping into your bathtub in an Armani. Trust me, an Aventador is a great buy, if you can afford it. But if you live anywhere inside the Indian sub-continent, all the Aventador is going to provide you is headaches, palpitations and goosebumps of the wrong kind. Which is sad. Because apart from the roads, Mumbai and Delhi to name a few, are great places to drive supercars.

No. Really. Don't look so aghast. Firstly, modern supercars aren’t much of a problem in traffic. Secondly – and this is the best part – the usual idiots who cut, don’t give way, and are generally behaving idiotic on the road always give way to an Aston, a Ferrari, a Maserati or a Lambo. And don’t worry about not being able to go fast. You don’t need to. If you are doing a decent 60kph, drop a gear or two and you’d realise how that import-duty laden price tag was totally worth it. And just as you are soaking about in your glory, you’d come across a sharp dip or an unmarked divider and your your fairy tale would end.

So, the real reason for the existence of the Urus lies somewhere between the lines of Stephen Winkelmann, CEO, Lamborghini when he says: “We are a bit disappointed. India and China started on the same note. But while China took the elevator, India is still not really picking up.”

It so happens that China is one the biggest markets for Lamborghinis. In fact, in China, Italian cars with bull emblems outsell Italian cars with horse emblems. So, the poor guy just cannot understand why India doesn’t even do one fourth of the numbers that Lamborghini manages in China. You see Mr Winkelmann, India doesn't have much of cash. But some Indians do. A lot of it.  But they aren’t the types to step into bathtubs in expensive suits. And as long we have roads that need a severe leap of imagination to be called one, we’d better be happy that the Lamborghini Urus is round the corner. Because while Mr Winkelmann wonders why India doesn’t shoot up Lamborghini numbers like China does, I don’t think he realises that he may have just solved that problem with the Urus.

Sure, it’s not going to take on Jaisalmer or Shimla. But then, last heard, Priyanka Chopra isn’t feeding the hungry, nor has Aishwarya Rai contributed to world peace.

TAGS// lamborghini, urus

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