Audi RS4 on ice

If you’ve ever walked on a tiled floor with a mixture of oil, grease and more oil on it, multiply that by 330bhp and you’ll have an idea of what it’s like to drive on ice. But thanks to the instructors and of course, the RS4 – it’s a real hero-maker, this car, with its quattro system – me and my co-driver reach a point where we’re arguing about whether we’ll see a polar bear, or if any fish live in the lake we’re driving on – all while going so sideways, the car’s bonnet is pointed at the apex of every corner. A few times, I go out for a lap alone and lose count of the number of times I go sideways, at one with the universe, with enough time to watch the rear tyres kick up a huge white rooster tail in the mirror.

The story comes to an end with an image of two beards frosted with snow: the RS4’s Bulgarian one face to face with my own very Indian one, with me trying to wrap my mind around the past couple of days. It is rather unbelievable and unless you stand there yourself, with a -25-degree wind making you wonder whether your nose has fallen off, or feel the awesomeness of quattro through your own backside, no pictures or videos will convey what it feels like.

Now, people expect journalists like myself to report the truth, and I did say in the beginning that I’m going to tell it like it is, so trust me – for me, driving a car will never be the same again.

(Words: Kartik Ware)