Ferrari F12 vs Aventador vs Vanquish

It started, as all the best road trips do, in a traffic jam on the M6 just outside Stoke. For when the Good Lord gives you three V12 supercars, a hunting lodge in the Highlands and the promise of decent weather for three days, he must also give you a monster logjam on a particularly unpicturesque section of Midlands motorway. A beauty, this one was: a two-hour, inch-by-inch crawl down the outside lane, after a dairy lorry had overturned, dumping thousands of gallons of milk across the road. As the Highways Agency dispatched a crack team of kittens in hi-vis jackets to lick the carriageway clean, this afforded much time to calculate exactly how much power and fastness were being stymied by a few spilt pints of semi-skimmed.

Ferrari F12 Berlinetta, Lamborghini Aventador Roadster and Aston Martin Vanquish, then: 36 cylinders and 20 litres of displacement, not a turbocharger between them, a combined value well north of £800,000. The last three naturally aspirated V12 supercars on the planet, stuck fast, the Ferrari and Aston quietly draining their tanks of super unleaded, the Lambo chuntering irascibly and occasionally pretending to mislay first gear. Nearly 2,000 horsepower on tap, and nowhere to use it. Alanis Morrissette would have declared it ironic.