Thrashing a 986bhp McLaren P1 GTR against a helicopter

We’re in the pits, all smiles. The McLaren boys are happy, I’m gurning like a muppet, when we hear the clatter of rotors and Blacky Schwarz parks his Cobra attack helicopter in the paddock. Ha. Everyone swarms, even Bruno wields his cameraphone. We decide what to do with it. “Ollie, can we get you back in the P1, please?” says Charlie.

Like I need to be asked twice. What follows is the best 20 minutes of my life (sorry, darling), as I’m chased around the Red Bull Ring for ten laps by a helicopter gunship that can pull more than twice the g-force, and is so close at times that the rotor clatter drowns out the V8 and I can feel the air pressure waves thud through my ribcage. I should just check out now. It’ll never get better than that.