Buy a bullet-proof kit for your Scorpio online
Looking for a quick fix to your pre-election transportational security woes? Get your Scorp bullet-proofed via Snapdeal.com
It's election time in India, which means a lot of political rallies being staged in different states, politicos travelling in local trains and endless Mr X vs Mr Y debates raging on in every corner of the country. What it also means, is that people are busy welcoming their aspiring leaders by hurling things like ink and shoes at them. Those who don't like them much may even spray bullets. Real, actual bullets.
So, if you're a politician looking to have your heavily-tinted, curtain-lined Mahindra Scorpio bulletproofed without having to leave the safe confines of your house, you can now simply log on to Snapdeal.com, and after a few mouse clicks, Defense Land Systems India will get in touch with you, sort out all the paperwork, take your Scorp into custody, give it the full anti-9mm treatment and park it at your doorstep, all inside four weeks.
There are a total of three packages - Executive is the most basic bullet-proof kit of them all, and it comes with bullet-proof body panels and bullet-proof glass that can withstand bullets from a 9mm pistol. So if you're being shot at with a Walther or a Glock, it's all good, but if you're dealing with a Kalashnikov, sorry, you've messed with the wrong people.
A real-time vehicle tracking device is present on the Executive, as is a fire-resistant fuel tank. Premium adds a set of run-flat tyres for that quick shootout getaway, and then comes the VVIP trim, which also gets a power window for the driver, and a blast-proof underbelly to protect you in case someone sneakily rolls in a Gangs of Wasseypur-style 'Kashmiri apple' under your car.
To the price. Well, at first glance, you'd be happy to see the Rs 75,000 price tag on the webpage, but look carefully, and you shall see that it is only the partial booking amount. The actual cost starts at Rs 12.66 lakh for the Executive, goes up to Rs 16.07 lakh for the Premium, and tops out at Rs 18.33 lakh for the VVIP. That, plus the cost of a brand-new Scorpio, if you don't already own one. If you don't, you're probably not a politician, so it doesn't matter to you anyway.