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  • Porsche builds an offensively huge, ugly SUV. Charges the earth.

Testament to the compelling business case for the SUV, the Porsche Cayenne is a ghastly diversion from the Porsche purist path that has made the company so much money it’s never looked back. Ugly, expensive, pointless… and everywhere.

  • Comfort

    It goes without saying that the Cayenne is the lap of luxury. For an SUV with such a turn of speed and relative composure in the corners it's amazing how well it rides. Engine and wind noise are also nothing to worry about.

  • Performance

    Depending on the varying levels of your wealth and lack of self-respect it is possible to have a quick, very quick or absurdly quick Cayenne. The 4.8-litre Turbo will hit 100kph in 5.1 seconds and keep at it until 275kph. But the world will hate you.

  • Cool

    No-one likes a sanctimonious lefty, but if someone gobs on the windscreen of your Cayenne Turbo S you can rightly reason you had it coming. Caveat Emptor.

  • Quality

    Definitely not going to fall apart in your hands this, but some bits and bobs in the Cayenne feel a little VW parts bin compared to a proper 911, and it's no match for the luxury of a Range Rover.

  • Handling

    It may be a full-size SUV, but Porsche went to a hell of a lot of trouble in the protracted development of the Cayenne to ensure it handled like a car. And it does, although more like a big, quite shit one you keep thinking you might crash.

  • Practicality

    Our only criticism here is that for such a big car we'd have hoped for a bit more rear legroom. Nonetheless, it's big by any standards and naturally vast for a Porsche.

  • Running costs

    How does 7.6kpl sound? That's Porsche's own best figure for the Cayenne GTS on a combined cycle, so you can imagine what the reality would be like, especially if you drove it as hard as they want you to.