The new M5 is quite sublime. Criticisms? The front end feels slightly over-tyred to me, but so do most high-performance cars, and so do I, come to think of it. The steering-column stalks seem a bit too close to the gearchange paddles, and once or twice I flashed vigorously at an oncoming driver who is likely still confused, or pointlessly rinsed a perfectly clean windscreen. But this could be because the stalks in my paddle-shift Ferrari are a yogic stretch away. The new M5 is a trifle dear at £73,000.

But the real problem is this – the M5 is so deceptively fast, and dispatching detractors going at well over the motorway speeds this easily is so intoxicating, you may as well drive yourself to the cop shop on M button #2 and hand yourself in. Or go back to the showroom for the 528i... And now for a little less sympathy and chin-scratching. Time for Ollie Marriage. And an E63.