It helps that I’ve never driven a bad one. Back in my early days in this job, there were big cars with 2.0-litre engines, here to avoid company-car taxes in some way or another. The 520 was pretty feeble, to be honest, and there was even a 518. But they were still lovely cars. They were just nice places to be.

If you’d like a 5-Series – and I think I might like one pretty soon – then the middle-ranking 528i is really rather excellent. That gives you 245bhp and you can have it as the M-Sport version for £37,000. So what do you get for £73,000, that’s still the same shape? You get 552bhp, and I have to ask, in the interests of a fair and balanced appraisal, if that’s really necessary. So let’s take a quick look at this mother and see what all the fuss is about.