What is it?
Sorry, did someone say this was an M car? The BMW X5 M is nowhere near what an M should be like - the steering is too woolly, the body roll not controlled - and it feels far too heavy. But the real trouble is that it's not fun to drive.
Poor. The M division famously refuses to fit run-flat tyres because of the compromises they bring, but even without these the X5 M isn't capable of wafting.
On the inside
Nothing wrong here. 547bhp and 501lb ft, from a twin-turbo 4.4-litre V8, is never going to be slow, even in something weighing nearly 2.5 tonnes. Turbo lag is never an issue and 0-62mph only takes 4.7 seconds. In something this large, that's quite a feeling.
Er, no. Even if you de-badge it and tell people it's a normal diesel X5. Shouty, all-mouth and no trouser cars are not what cool people drive around in. Shouty, all-mouth and no trouser SUVs are even less what cool people drive around in.