What is it?
Thanks to the clever torque-vectoring system, the X6 does actually drive like a BMW should and is good fun, for a two-tonne SUV. But it doesn't detract from the fact that this is a hideous and fat monstrosity.
Distorts what you expect from something with this high-looking C-of-G. The X6 covers ground, rough or otherwise with the same determination as a Bowler Nemesis, except with nice leather and a decent radio. Body control is superb, traction is always without peer thanks to xDrive, DPC (dynamic Performance Control) and DSC (Dynamic Stability Control). It will surprise you. You will still hate the way it looks.
Four motors on offer, two diesels, two petrols. The two six-cylinder 3.0-litre diesels use one and two blowers respectively, giving 0-62mph in 7.5 (245bhp) and 6.5 (306bhp) seconds. The straight-six 35i petrol has 306bhp and gets to the benchmark in 6.7 seconds and runs on to just under 150mph. The twin-turbo 50i, with a bi-turbo 4.4-litre V8 and 407bhp will hit 62mph in 5.4, bang it's head on an electronic limiter at 155mph and scare everything this side of a Porsche 911. There's even an M-Power version of this engine chucking out 555bhp. We wish we were kidding.
On the inside
Vision is limited thanks to that shape - the rear 'screen is a slot. There are only four seats and the boot is smaller than an X5's - but not by as much as you might imagine. The rear hatch lip is also very high - you'll be struggling to get things out of the back if you're short - though there is a very handy under-floor storage bin for hiding stuff.
Solid materials usage, good detailing, panel gaps that fit. This is a nicely finished car, even if it is built in America.
Expensive. All hit the max tax bracket, and you'll be fuelling that BMW 50i with everything you've got. Best just set fire to your wallet and have done. Best will be the single-turbo diesel, but this is still a big car with an appetite.