G-Wiz news - What a steal - 2008

It might not have been a bumper month for car dearlerships around the UK, but Top Gear Bargains has just recorded its first sale!

Aiming to provide quality, service and no more than a moderate risk to health and safety, Top Gear Bargains is a newly-formed used car dealership established in the glitzy environs of a muddy underpass just off the A40.

Yesterday, chief salesman Daniel 'Unable to' Read handed over the keys to a nearly-new G-Wiz to Martin Namewithheldforlegalreasons for the bargain-basement price of Â£280!

"I had to borrow a bigger trailer to get it back to Somerset," said a clearly delighted Mr Namewithheldforlegalreasons. "Hopefully there's something salvageable in there."

The G-Wiz, bedecked in a distinctive azure-blue-and-pondweed livery, boasts low miles, wheels, affordable running costs and very mild damage sustained during a 40mph crash test. "It'll buff out," asserted Mr Read confidently.

You may have missed out on that potential steal, but fear not, there's plenty more in the pipeline from Top Gear Rustbucket Bargains.

"We've got major plans to break into the used car market in a big way," said Mr Read. "I've got a mate who's got this old Robin Reliant that he says is in right mint condition and that I can have it for free if I give him the number of that fit girl that works down the bakery."

We may have made nearly everything up in this story.

But all proceeds did go to Children in Need, so thank you to all that bid, especially Martin, who won.