Worthersee. A glorious alpine lake nestled deep in southern Austria that, once a year, welcomes VW Group fans to its shores; loyal fans with an intimate knowledge of Golf GTI compression ratios and an expert understanding of ‘torque'.
And every year, important German people let some of their most dastardly engineers loose on a Group car and present it to the expectant audience as a gift. Remember the Golf W12 and the TT Speedster? This time, they've brought a 495bhp Audi A1 to play with. Yes, 495bhp.
The one-off ‘Clubsport quattro' features a heavily blown version of the 2.5-litre five-pot used to magnificent effect in the RS3 and TT RS. Here, the turbo, intercooler, induction tract and exhaust have been turned up to 11 while even the exhaust tailpipe sits on the left, just in front of the rear wheel a-la DTM.
That power - 495bhp and 468lb ft - coupled with a kerbweight of 1,390kg means it accelerates faster than an angry Elk. 0-62mph takes 3.7 seconds, 0-124mph takes 10.9 seconds, 50-70mph takes 2.4 seconds and top speed is limited to 155mph. At a guess, you'll long run out of nerve/talent before the Clubsport runs out of puff.
A manual six-speeder and, naturally, four-wheel drive manage the power, it comes with 19in wheels, carbon-fibre and ceramic brakes and coilover suspension. The front wings, doors and rear side panels have been swollen by 60mm, there are spoilers, diffusers, intakes, skirts and even a boost guage. Best to keep your eyes on the road, probably.
The one-off will debut at the Worthersee festival from 1-4 June. It probably won't make production. Ever. But an RS1 does sound tempting...