A lotta Hart’

Open wide and say 'urghhh'... this is the new big-mouthed X5 from Hartge, a firm world-renowned for its subtle tuning programmes for BMWs - like the Z3M Coupe or 1-Series it built with whacking great 5.0-litre V8s under the bonnet.

The new car, nicknamed Road Runner, is based on the diesel X5 and features a new front spoiler, rear skirt and two-piece side sills.

A modified ECU 'performs absolute miracles', according to Hartge. By which we assume it means boosting power rather than turning diesel into wine.

The 3.0d goes up from 235bhp to 275bhp, while the torque increases from 384lb ft to 443lb ft. 0-60mph comes up in just under 7.4 seconds - a second quicker than the standard car.

A 30mm suspension drop and a set of 22-inch wheels complete the Hartge's mentalism, and if you really, must, honestly have one, it'll cost you around £60,000.