Fiat Portofino news - Speedos, paunch, sunburn... - 2008

There are many reasons to feel very silly while on the beach. Your absurd, undersized trunks, for one.

The rapid transition of your skin from pasty white to luminous orange. Your noble holiday paunch, silhouetted majestically against the late afternoon sun.

None of those, though, will make you feel half as daft as the Fiat Portofino.

A concept set to be unveiled at the Caravan Show in Dusseldorf later this week (and we can only apologise for not having sent a correspondent to report directly from the scene), the Portofino is based on Fiat's Fiorino van and inspired, we're told, by the coachbuilt Fiat beach cars of the 1950s.

The 1950s, of course, being the last time we had a decent summer of beach weather.

Beyond the obvious convertiblisation (yes, it's a word) and removal of the doors, the Portofino gets a host of other nautical touches, including waterproofed natural-fibre seats and a decking-style laminated wood floor.

We love those VIP-area ropes, too.

Fiat is threatening to build a covered top Fiorino, but tells us there are no plans to put the modified van into production.

A pity, we think, for all those Speedo-wearing, lobster-hued exhibitionists looking to hit the sand in style.