Is this the most hideous car ever created? It just might be.
This is the Tornado 750, a work of such vile monstrosity from German tuning house Gemballa that we're not quite sure whether to feel sorry for it or smash it repeatedly with big sticks until we're certain it's dead.
Based, as you might have guessed, on the Porsche Cayenne Turbo, the Tornado 750 gets lots more power and lots less weight - usually a formula we approve of, but in this case we'll make an exception.
750bhp of power, to be exact, thanks to a bored-out version of the Cayenne's 4.8-litre V8 armed with a race-spec turbocharger. Gemballa has shaved a whopping 250kg off the Cayenne's kerbweight - virtually all the grotesque bodywork is rendered in carbon fibre - which helps the Tornado nail the 0-60mph run in a ridiculous 4.3 seconds, turning pedestrians to stone as it passes.
If you're tempted by the thought of a Tornado on your driveway - and we'll give you a hint here, you're really, really not tempted - it'll set you back a mere £360,000. Or five times the cost of a Cayenne Turbo, if you prefer.
In honesty, even if it cost a fiver and came with a complimentary copy of ‘How to Destroy Your Pig-Ugly SUV Without Anyone Knowing You Own It', we still wouldn't buy the Tornado.
So what do you think? Ugliest car ever? Suggestions please.
Now watch Hammond racing a (non-modified) Porsche Cayenne against a British army paratrooper: