24 April 2009 - 10:00
The ugliest ever?
Is this the most hideous car ever created? It just might be.
This is the Tornado 750, a work of such vile monstrosity from German tuning house Gemballa that we're not quite sure whether to feel sorry for it or smash it repeatedly with big sticks until we're certain it's dead.
Based, as you might have guessed, on the Porsche Cayenne Turbo, the Tornado 750 gets lots more power and lots less weight - usually a formula we approve of, but in this case we'll make an exception.
750bhp of power, to be exact, thanks to a bored-out version of the Cayenne's 4.8-litre V8 armed with a race-spec turbocharger. Gemballa has shaved a whopping 250kg off the Cayenne's kerbweight - virtually all the grotesque bodywork is rendered in carbon fibre - which helps the Tornado nail the 0-60mph run in a ridiculous 4.3 seconds, turning pedestrians to stone as it passes.
If you're tempted by the thought of a Tornado on your driveway - and we'll give you a hint here, you're really, really not tempted - it'll set you back a mere £360,000. Or five times the cost of a Cayenne Turbo, if you prefer.
In honesty, even if it cost a fiver and came with a complimentary copy of ‘How to Destroy Your Pig-Ugly SUV Without Anyone Knowing You Own It', we still wouldn't buy the Tornado.
So what do you think? Ugliest car ever? Suggestions please.
Now watch Hammond racing a (non-modified) Porsche Cayenne against a British army paratrooper:
Want to comment on this?
Just to be clear, I think it's an inexcusable, diabolical shambles and the designer should be shot in the face with an oven. Just to be clear. AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!
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haha i wouldn't mind that, it kind of looks like a vw golf but with a slight body kit...
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There is nothing much wrong with that car really. Only the rear lights are ugly, but the rest is fine really. It has a general theme going with the endless air scoops and the stealth gray tone and the "evil" look. So overall nothing is out of place. It is just a radical look and it is one of those things that some people like yet some hate. Some might say it is ugly, definitely not the ugliest car EVER. I think this car looks better than the original cayenne, because the original is simply hideous. But if you are looking for the ugliest car ever then this is a pretty safe bet: http://englishrussia.com/?p=1741
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It looks like an Impreza that's spent ten years on Bernard Manning's pie diet. Think of it less as a car and more as a culling marker once the giovernment decide to set a minimum taste level
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sooner or later the Porsche Cayenne will be an object of endless scorns... or maybe face-lifts-gone-wrong-mods...
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@Minimal1ty: hey, this Jamaica Porsche isn't too bad http://englishrussia.com/?p=1653 except for the interior?
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Well, at least it'd be a head-turner... even if for all the wrong reasons!
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LOL!! From that angle it looks like a giant Golf R32 on steriods!! In the words of Arnie... "you are one ugly mother f__ker!"
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It looks like a fat lass has sat on the bonnet.
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I quite like it. It don't look like cayenne! But inside I don't like!
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You can have this in your driveway only if your architect is Giger
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Or Gaudi. Or Bloody Stupid Johnson (thank you Mr Pratchett).
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Yummy yummy 0 to 100 in 4.3 yummy yummy. All super cars are UGLY just look at the Bucati Veyron, Ferrari Enzo its all about aerodynamics
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WOOOOOOOOOW, What a Bloody car. Give me one of those please. Ugly i think not, Beast hell yeah.
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Yummy yummy 0 to 100 in 4.3 yummy yummy. All super cars are UGLY just look at the Bucati Veyron, Ferrari Enzo its all about aerodynamics
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ok, it might look a bit like a toad run over by rush hour traffic.. but screw what anybody thinks, i'd buy one without even thinking bout it! come on people!
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zimstigzim - did you just actually, with a straight face, say that the Veyron is ugly and imply that the Enzo is too? What, really? Do they give you crayons in your ward?
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I can see those last bastions of good taste, gangsta rappers and footballers, buying that!
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Nobody likes change! and people have very short memories. Remember the outlandish designes like Lamborghini Countach? The Pininfarina family were always thought to be way out there!! Funny that they have now become iconic! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the keys to this beast are in the rich and famous! Cause i can't afford one, otherwise it would be sat on my drive.
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i like the interior..the rest of it however should be melted down and sunk to the bottom of the ocean like in transformers
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Rubbish. Preferably buy The Range Rover Sport 5.0 V8 supercharged. Range Rover is cool
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Yes. Ugliest. Take it away!
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Yes. Ugliest. Take it away!
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Not as ugly as the stock model
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When did Porsche become a Rice Tunner car?? I'm trying to come up with something as horrible as this... but every time I compare it to something nearly as revolting I vomit on my computer.
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i'm gonna die.........................................................................................................
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This is simply very, very sad. When Gemballa tuned the Porsche GT into the Gemballa Mirage they made it into one of the sexiest cars in the world, but now they gone way to far by tuning an already ugly car into a wannabe sports car which look like a dinosaur (doesn't this remind any of u guys of the REVA electric car?)
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Im in the looks-like-a-golf club onley you could buy a bunch of golfs, do your private demolition course, tear them apart and the result would be less ugly and less expencive
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Where is the designer. He will be drug out to the street and shot...
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How can anyone possibly say that there is nothing wrong with that car? It's biblically horrible, it's worse than anything previously seen - yes, even a ssangyong.
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It looks like a melted elephant! Or the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters after losing a fight against a flamethrower. There is nothing right about this car (Minimal1ty). The Ferrari lights, the myraid unecessary (and mostly non-functional) holes, scoops and vents, the preposterous wheels, the puffy grey interior trim, this car is *[censored for the benefit of children]*! I'd screw a stock Cayenne Turbo up the exhaust if it meant they would never build another one of these and destroy any and all existing "Tornadoes". And to think I liked Gemballa for their mental 911s...
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As Clarkson would say... its about as pretty as a nuclear accident. more to the point though... who would buy an expensive car and then make it depreciate like the preverbial just to use it as a fashion statement thereby proving that they know nothing about fashion
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A few friends and I were talking about the most expensive car you'd turn down, even if it was given to you. All I could think of was the BMW X6 (horrific) but now the debate is over. This is revolting.
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On the creators' website this car was announced on April 20th. Which, incidentally, is Hitler's birthday. Maybe this will be the saviour of the German car industry.
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OH MY GOD,MY EYES!!!XO
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i ca no longer see after this inseent
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Bloody Hell It's ugly... But actually I think the stock car looks alright but this one they've really messed up
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WOW , THIS IS UGLY, HOW CAN U MAKE AN UGLY CAR UGLIER???????
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Gemballa is funny :)
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Oh My Dear God!!!!!!! get it away, get it away!!!!! Gemballa, you have managed to turn an ok looking car into something that even a boy-racer wouldn't nick!!!
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it' s better than Chopster from Rinspeed !!! :)
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The back looks alright, I like the Ferrari 599 rear lights
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Your wrong, a boy racer would nick then sell it
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Ughhh! Hate, Hate, Hate!
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O.M.G its a G.T.I Golf on steriods "Give me" "Give me" tho i cant afford one
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I would so buy that! only to burn it and kick it from the face of the earth. It looks like a car Captain Slow would think of trying to be 'hip and cool'
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It is looking at bit OTT on the aesthetics, kinda Max Power-esque. However, there will be some - no doubt - that'll find its iconoclastic styling quite appealing. I personally just cannot understand the choke-on-your-Cornflakes price tag: I mean £360,000!? Surely you'd rather have an LP640, Zonda or something equally dramatic. I would.
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Gemballa are to be applauded for their efforts - it's quite a trick to take the ugliest car that has ever existed and then make it even uglier...
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Yep, it's ugly as heck. But i do think the Wheels look great! aswell as the headlights. But on a diffrent car, please. That hood is just horrible, looks like it has a deceise of some kind.
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Do they deliver it with a shotgun. That would make trashing it a lot easier.
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this is a tank. but the kind of tank were its like "You can have a sandwich to invade iraq with or you can have this", and naturally you would have to take the sandwich.
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OH MY GOD Minimal1ty, youve scarred me for LIFE
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Yeuch!!! It's nearly as ugly as any model HSV or the new Impreza.Wretchx!
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Oh dear!!! the ugliest car in the world... made even uglier!!! That deserves an award... was the designer a drunken blind man!?!?
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JESUS CHRIST!!!! WHY???
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That by far is one of the most ugliest cars i have..ever seen in my life. It`s just hideous from every angle. They really have modelled it on an evil carbon fibre frog that has a liking to pukka pies. When you look inside it`s as if you have walked into Carpet Right with a half price sale. Everything is covered in carpet. Yes it may be fast, but all of those pies must make it very thirsty like any fast car. So why would you want to buy this.....thing for £360,000 when you could buy a faster car that doesnt hurt your eyes to look at? Complete and utter madness, what were they thinking.
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Damn! You even get the ghastly face on the screen inside! Come to think to it, I appreciate Gemballa: Cayenne is made for cocks who are well-off, so Gemballa is squeezing a lot of money from richer cocks hoping Gemballa will use that money to build some interesting 750bhp Audi R8 or Merc SLR
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this is the offspring of the antichrist
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You guys owe me breakfast for showing me that monstrosity. I had to chuck up my 1st breakfast. DO NOT show that again!! Someone should charge Gemballa with crimes against humanity
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best looking 4wd ever. no joke. well done and i wish i had one.
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best looking 4wd ever. no joke. well done and i wish i had one.
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best looking 4wd ever. no joke. well done and i wish i had one.
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Do you know what is really scary? This is the logical conclusion to the Cayenne's original design... which was probably watered down from this.
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I think it has got a nice bodykit but they have made a bit of a mess of it
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this car is one siccckkk machine it looks lethal man it phenomanol u cant mess wiv it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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@JamesC: Or Ahmed the 'I just get these headaches'. Actually, it does remind me a bit of the Palace's beehive. As the B-movie werewolf said: 'Kill me, please...' The Cayenne was butt-ugly to start with and it doesn't get any better. All the while the VW version of it is actually pretty yet nobody gives it a second glance.
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Does it come with a lifetime supply of eye bleach and counselling, in order to get over that plug ugly exterior?
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I think this disproves the old adage that ?you can put lipstick on a pig but you still have a pig.? Considering what they started with, it actually is not that bad looking... All it needs is a big window decal telling us what brand of stereo equipment it has in it!
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Bloody Germans.
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Who do I send the bill to? That pic made me physically ill.
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I think its so ugly. its cool lol . i quite like it .
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this is not ugly it looks good.......cayenne may have some problems with the shape...but it is the best thing to drive,and this 1 especially god knows what its gonna do on road.........arghh...
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Its not ugly, its just misunderstood. WHY during the worst recession since the thirties? WHY during the decade being recognised for the re-birth of car design? WHY during my lifetime?
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help!get me away from it! if i ever,and i mean EVER, i will tear all my hairout and steal my dad's honda accord & drive it all the way 2 norway!
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It looks like a pig
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tis like looking at a low-slung fiat 500 with a completly new body and a sporty suzzici's hood,all dented like, but all the same, i wouldn't drive it, even if you gave me a red rolls-royce 2 drive afterwards! "easy 2 hate like sunday morning"!
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To be honest is a very nice car the design on the front is very nice i would buy this if i had enough money and old enough
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It does look like a Subaru Impreza that has been inflated, just so people can be disgusted by it from even further away. It is almost as bad as the Subaru Impreza in the fast & Furious film, but it is impossible to be more ugly than that impreza, so i'm afraid to say this is not the worlds ugliest car, though far play for effort. At least Gambella tried copying the Impreza to achieve the eye-disintigratingly ugly car that it has.
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You report on it as though its some sort of surprise? That in some way you weren't expecting it?... Lets be honest Porsche create some of 'THE' most mundane and downright boring looking 'supercars' (I use that term loosely) out there! They must have 'THE' most boring design team in the automotive industry!!! Just about every single car they produce looks the same as the next! They have the imagination and creative exuberance of and office stationery supplier! People who buy Porsches clearly have far too much money and zero style! Yes, predictably Porsches conform to the german norm - they're well built and reliable...but ultimately DULL AS DISHWATER and UGLY AS SIN!
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Im getting my sledgehammer....now
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how can they make you pay £300,000 for that piece of trash i would buy the cayenne an day of the week. the designers should be shot just for thinking of making this car. utter rubbish
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JamesC commented on this article
24 April 2009
AAAARRRRGGGGHHH! God, my eyes! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES! AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Quick! Hide the children! Their minds are tender and impressionable! That's the most hideous thing I've seen since *shudder* the Rodius...
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