When Gumpert engineers sat down for a biscuit and a cup of tea to discuss building a new Apollo, they inadvertently invoked the spirit of Clarkson's patented Hyperbole Service. Make it maximum. Give it more, much, much more.
Because at this year's Geneva motor show, we've just laid eyes on the hardest, fastest and scariest Apollo ever conceived. It is the Gumpert Apollo R, and it was born for the track.
One tiny letter, a whole new world of pain. That formidable Audi-sourced 4.2-litre V8 was pumped mercilessly with steroids: it gets a higher supercharging pressure, ignition and control time adjustments, optimised air intake ducts and a special racing exhaust system.
Gumpert reckons the Apollo R will see greater deployment in Asia, and has thus beefed up the engine and transmission cooling systems to better cope with the heat. Oh, and "all frills were removed from the interior of the Apollo R".
Some chassis modifications were introduced too. A titanium blade stabiliser was affixed to the rear axle, and lots of bits were "optimised" to bring the total weight of the car down to just 1,100kg. And befitting its hardcore status, the Apollo R is decked out in black, red and gold foil with a griffin painted on each door.
A griffin that appears on the appropriately named Apollo Enraged, too. The second new limited edition model on display at Geneva is road legal - just - and sees a hike in power to a more modest, manageable 780bhp, and a weight drop to 1,175kg.
"The idea behind the enraged," says chief Roland Gumpert, "embodies our philosophy and our understanding of PURE GERMAN SPEED." That's right, proper, caps lock speed.
It is angry. And we like it when it's angry...