TopGear's good friend John Hennessey is a man who cares about you. He understands you need some accelerative violence; that you are in fact a sadist, happy to suffer and sacrifice for big power.
So here is his gift to you: a 755bhp tuned Chevrolet Camaro.
The Hennessey HPE700 - now available in convertible flavour - is fitted with the Corvette ZR1's 6.2-litre supercharged V8, but with added boost and a fuel system described as 'robust'. Along with 755 charged ponies you also get 763lb ft of torque. As we have no understanding of how torque works, we shall merely say it's 'ruddy loads'.
The spec list for this topless beast is quite extensive. The HPE700 comes with lots of engine upgrades - cold air induction, better supercharger pulleys, high flow fuel injectors, a better intercooler and fuel system - as well as a heavy duty clutch and flywheel, 20-inch alloys, 15-inch Brembo brakes, three-way adjustable coilover suspension and a Big Stripe along the side.
There is also a 'Hennessey Letter of Authenticity', which you can hang alongside your prescription medication.
TopGear drives the Hennessey Camaro
The result of this fettling is quite something. The 0-60mph sprint takes 3.3 seconds, the quarter-mile is dusted in 10.9 seconds and you even get a one-day performance driving course.
Like it? Just 24 of these Camaros - coupe and convertible - will be built.
If the HPE700 is a little too extreme, check out the video below of the upcoming Camaro Z28 being nailed at the House of Pain (it gets interesting at around 1m 30s).
Then, go into a darkened room, put a cold flannel over your forehead and tell yourself, the voices aren't real!