Rising above the parapet of the human condition, Nürburgring lap times are largely pointless willy-waving exercises between rival manufacturers churning out useless trivia used by inadequate men to wow their friends and repel women.
But, but... who can't help but feel a twinge of excitement when a car blitzes around James May's least favourite holiday destination and sets a record time? In today's edition of Totally Useless But Quite Entertaining ‘Ring Lap Times is the Lexus LFA. Specifically, the Lexus LFA Nürburgring Edition. It has just done the obligatory 14-odd mile lap in 7m 14s.
That, dear Internet, is fast. Very fast. It puts it eight seconds faster than the ‘standard' LFA and just two seconds off the pace of a Gumpert Apollo Speed. Gazoo Racing driver Akira Iida was behind the wheel during the attempt.
Haruhiko Tanahashi, LFA chief engineer, said: "The LFA Nürburgring Package is the culmination of our extensive testing programme and we have appreciated the opportunities to use the Nürburgring Nordschleife to strengthen and develop the LFA into the vehicle it is today.
"The development team's obsession, Iida-san's concentration and good course conditions all led to our achieving this record."
For reference, the ‘Ring package adds ten more horsepowers to make 562bhp, a faster shifting six-speed auto ‘box (0.15s), stiffer, adjustable suspension, a fixed rear wing and stickier tyres.
Of course, being an avaricious Internet hound, you'll be aware of the numerous caveats applied to these unofficial times. Yet there's no denying the LFA - in this orangey-boom guise - is ruddy fast indeed.
Now watch it: