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The budget Bond car

Maybach too subtle? Rolls-Royce Phantom too restrained? Fear not! Carlsson has the answer!

This two-tone monstrosity is the absurdly named Carlsson Aigner CK65 RS Blanchimont - 'conceived in collaboration with the leather and lifestyle brand Etienne Aigner AG' it says here. Aigner make posh bags and sunglasses for beautiful people.

The £315,000 Carlsson is based on the S-Class and uses a tweaked version of Merc's mighty twin-turbo V12. The result is a healthy 705bhp and a 0-60mph time under 3.9 seconds.

Inside there's a Carlsson Office Concert Hall Infotainment System with high-speed internet access, whatever that is. We presume it means you can surf t'internet for pictures of clean-cut, fully dressed laydees while being whisked to a charidee function.

Laughably, one of the words used in the press release to describe this car is 'discreet'