Someone in the depths of Norfolk, there lurks a tiny but terrifying black hole, a car-sized lump of anti-matter that absorbs all light that passes close to it.
That black hole is called the Lotus Scura.
Scary, innit? Essentially it's a tuned-up version of the Exige S, shorn of a little weight and slathered with matte black paint.
It develops 260bhp from a revised version of the Exige's 1.8-litre supercharged engine, good for 0-60mph in four seconds flat and a 0-100mph time of 9.9 seconds.
The standard Exige S manages 220bhp, with an extra 20bhp available from a performance pack, so they won't see which way you went. In fact, such is the sheer darkness of the Scura that literally no one will see which way you went.
Thanks to the liberal use of carbon fibre around the seats, centre console and front splitter, the Scura is a massive (OK, not all that massive) 10kg lighter than the Exige S.
It'll be limited to just 35 units worldwide, at a cost of £45,000. A small price to pay for the ability to slip under enemy radar undetected, we think.*
*May not strictly be true. Please don't try this at home.
Now watch Clarkson attempt to evade an Apache helicopter’s missile lock in the Lotus Exige: