G whizz

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For a car that's been in continuous production for almost 30 years, the Mercedes G-Wagen remains a rare sight on these shores (yes, we could call it the G-Class, but Wagen is so much cooler). 

Perhaps that's because it isn't produced in right-hand drive any more, or perhaps because most of them are either crawling across war zones or appearing in hip-hop videos. 

And now, presumably catering more to the latter than the former, Mercedes has given the squaretastic G-Wagen a thorough overhaul, including an even more absurdly powerful V8.

382bhp of power, to be exact, along with 391lb ft of torque, from a new 5.5-litre V8 which will see the G500 to 62mph in just 5.9 seconds - enough to outrun even the most militant insurgent cavalry charge.

Cosmetically, you also get a new three-fin radiator grille and 18-inch alloys, neither of which detract from the G's distinctively, erm, 1970s lines.

Rather more disappointingly, Mercedes has seen fit to kit out the G-Wagen with a bunch of new 'infotainment' trickery - TV tuner, reversing camera, sphincter-rupturing stereo.

Which is just wrong: everyone knows the only way to order your G-Wagen is in base Desert Storm spec.

With rocket launchers.