10 June 2009 - 11:00
Defender goes posh
The Land Rover Defender has always done ‘luxury
transport' about as well as the Ariel Atom does ‘all-weather comfort'.
Incredible off-road competence? Yep. Quad-speed arse massage and 32-speaker
sound system? Not so much.
But with buyers demanding relaxed buttocks and surround sound as well as the
ability to scale cliff faces, Land Rover has relented. Hence the ‘Fire' and
‘Ice' Defenders, a pair of limited-edition mudpluggers aiming to muscle in on
X5/Q7/M-Class territory.
OK, they don't actually have arse massage seats and 32-speaker surround sound,
but they've got just about everything else. Recaro bucket seats, leather and
Alcantara trim, diamond-turned alloys, glass sunroof, colour-coded headlights
and taillights, and a capacious boot absolutely devoid of pregnant sheep or
deer carcasses.
It even has a twiddly knob to control the volume of the noise coming from the
stereo. And windows that go both up and down. Luxury indeed.
Sadly we won't see the ‘Fire' and/or ‘Ice' Defenders in the UK: the
luxo-workhorse is only going on sale in Austria, Belgium, Brazil, China - OK,
quite a lot of places, actually - and will be limited to a mere 850 cars, with
prices starting at 68,400 Euro.
Sorry, but we have to ask: why, Land Rover? This is even dafter than that SVX thing. A luxury Defender is as absurd as... a stripped-out Phantom Drophead,
surely? Or a four-seat SUV coupe?
Or... well, let's hear your best efforts. In 10 words or less, a luxury
Defender is even dafter than...
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...a supercharged V8 Peel P50
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Dafter than that berk that cut me up on the A590 this morning. Bloody Audi drivers.
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Why not? It is even better than Mercedes-Benz G-Class!
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I didn't realise that European farming subsidies had changed that much.
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Dafter than attempting to house train a giant bear. I mean come on Land Rover! Land Rovers always have to fit into categories. The Freelander is for poor people who can't afford a Discovery, the Discovery is for people who want a good, high-riding 4x4 (school-run mums basically), the Range Rover Sport is for footballers, the Range Rover is for rich footballers and the Defender is for farmers and the army! Where does this one fit in?!
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... a Smart Fortwo with a lift kit. http://www.seriouswheels.com/pics-2006/2006-Smart-Forfun2-Concept-Climbing-1280x960.jpg Actually, maybe it's not quite that crazy.
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...not throwing something heavier at Nick Griffin
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a twin turbo'd rampant rabbit woulda made more sense to me ;P
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it looks cool and masculine but the headlights looks like a car from the 60,s but it looks awesome. i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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why is it not being sold in england? when landie is famous for being english why the hell is it not being sold here?!
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A Rolls Royce city car, or a Bugatti pick up truck
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Actually, I think it makes sense. G-Wagon anyone? Never mind that we in the US can't even get the normal Defender. They stopped imports several years ago.
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"...not throwing something heavier at Nick Griffin" - I second this! Although I rather like the idea of a luxury Defender, we have got a 2005 Defender 110 and its not exactly what you might call comfortable. Its bloody brilliant off road though!
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a luxury Defender is even dafter than the theory of creation.
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i kinda like it! its rough, but you could use it every day!
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The Labour Government. Is that ridiculous enough???
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Actually everyone panicking about the BNP is more ridiculous. They have 2 of the many UK seats in Brussels, the world's most useless establishment. When I'm PM then you'll have something to worry about...
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NO! Defenders should be rough and tough, not posh and soft. No Land Rover, no
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its dafter than a toyota prius with a engine from a veyron and 24'' wheels
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admitting to yourself or anyone you find janice dickinson attractive
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ITS THE CUTE VERSION OF THE DISCOVERY BUT WHO WOULD BUY IT?
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I think its a great idea - Mercedes has done this with the G-Wagon. Come on Land Rover, fit the Discovery air suspension, Range Rover interior and the 510 bhp Jag V8 - That'd rock!
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as absured as F1 without ferrari!
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...a McLaren hybrid.
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Why did they give it Recaros, flashy wheels and silly paint? Isn't that what tuning companies are for? Making a special version with a Range Rover-esque interior would've been far better. With arse-massages. And 32 speakers.
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...dafter than a Prius with spoiler and body kit ?
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A G Wiz or a Porsche Panamera
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they'd fit in quite nicely at monaco, perhaps it could set off a trend....
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Think a devil posessed steroidal mountain goat wearing a pink ribbon with bells tied to its hooves. Another another niche in cars? Arghhhhh...
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A luxury Defender is even dafter than............................The Stig
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anyone besides me realises that this pice of british vehicle sucks ? it looks like a car u build with logo ! it's stupid and fugly
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anyone besides me realises that this pice of british vehicle sucks ? it looks like a car u build with lego ! it's stupid and fugly
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Ferrari in nascar
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or Clarkson being knighted
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Definately dafter than a mohogany frying pan.
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Tommyms commented on this article
10 June 2009
it louks orsem
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