Tuning news - 2008: worst of the tuning jobs - 2008

You can run, you can hide but you can’t get away from it: hideously tuned cars are everywhere. Giant bodykits, improbable engine tweaks, luminescent flame paint jobs - even though we know they’re bad, we can’t help looking.

Here are some of the worst – or best, maybe – of the tuned-up monstrosities from the last 12 months. Most of them are German.

AC Schnitzer BMW X6: We didn’t think it was possible to make the X6 any more awkward looking, so hats off to AC Schitzer for its valiant effort.

Brabus Tesla: ‘You know how the Tesla is all, like, quiet and stuff? Wouldn’t it be great if it made weird Star Trek noises instead?’

Techart 911 Turbo: OK, this isn’t horrible at all. In fact, it’s rather awesome. Awesome in that ‘quite likely to kill you very quickly’ sort of way, that is…

Hamann Volcano SLR: Not tasteless as such – OK, it’s a 700bhp SLR, but you know what we mean – but worthy of inclusion for the name alone. There just aren’t enough cars named after murderous tectonic phenomena, are there?

Chevy Camaro Black: Once again, not tasteless at all, just a little bit terrifying. This whole ‘rubbish tuning’ theme is going out the window a bit, isn’t it?

9ff GT9: Ha! Look at the silly modified 911! Look at the silly decals and aero stuff! What’s that? 1,000bhp and 250mph? OK, we’ll stop laughing now.

Lorinser SL: Ah, there we go. Back in the world of proper horrendous tuning, courtesy of German tuning house Lorinser. So bad it’s almost good.

Toyota Yaris Speedster: We don’t have the words to describe the bizzareness of this one. In fact, we’re not even sure bizarreness is a word. OK, technically it’s an in-house effort rather than an aftermarket job, but we didn’t think we could let 2008 pass without one more look at this one.
Here’s to plenty more bizarre creations in 2009. Don’t ever stop, crazy tuning people…