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James is a man of many and varied talents. He is the only person in the world who understands how 'torques' work, once invented a new kind of pie, and has single-handedly kept the tweed industry afloat for the last two decades. He also has sensitive hair, an array of brightly coloured jumpers, and a deep and unswayable mistrust of the French. He likes his cars in two flavours: giant luxury land yachts favoured by larger-than-life cabaret singers and dictators, and tiny cheap superminis.