Land Rover

Defender

So noisy and uncomfortable it's in breach of UN torture legislation, but on the plus side it's more agile in the wild than a leopard. And it won't ever change its spots.

Discovery 4

£35,802 - £50,230

Only slightly lighter than a centurion tank, the Disco remains the Yummy Mummy favourite. Bit of overkill, but we're partial to one. 

Freelander 2

£21,695 - £35,800

Compact SUV benchmark that's no longer styled like a bench. A real coming-of-age model, it sorts previous reliability issues and delivers the full urban cool experience.

Range Rover

£67,972 - £85,290

Part of the landscape of Britain, rather like Blenheim Palace or the Cotswolds – both of which, coincidentally, are places where Range Rovers gather like wilderbeest.

Range Rover Evoque

£27,683 - £43,893

Think of it as a hairdresser's car at your peril: the new Evoque is one of the ballsiest cars in the world. You want one.

Range Rover Sport

£47,052 - £73,342

A slight commotion in the Range Rover world as the unruly cousin nobody mentions charges into the party with his loud friends. Wear your tweed cap back to front.